So Long

I'm going away for 6 weeks now and I won't have any internet access but when I come back I will have plenty of things to post.

Horny But Honest #2

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: I'm looking girls who want to have webcam chat
20/m/France
You: umm...
You: how do i put this nicely?
You: NO
You have disconnected.

Another Horny But Honest Fellow

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: hey
Stranger: how r u
You: pretty good, I just finished my last regents (standardized testing)
today
You: you
Stranger: i am fine too
Stranger: thanks
You: it was my last one ever and pretty easy
You: and in one week i start traveling
Stranger: it is well
Stranger: where will u travel?
You: israel for 6 weeks as part of a youth program
You: i have to get my haircut on thursday otherwise i will most likely
die in the desert
You: it's a big red mess of curly hair right now
Stranger: so you are man ha?
You: yes
Stranger: sorry but i am here for cyber sex and i am also man
Stranger: so i am looking for women
You: oh
You: at least you're honest
You: good luck
You have disconnected.

Upfront

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: male, 23, looking for chat with female 19 or older who is willing to get a little raunchy...don't want to offend, so i am being upfront

You have disconnected.

Tell Me I Have a Big Dick

Connecting to server...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: hi

Stranger: tell me i have a big dick

You: what?

Stranger: you know, a big dick

Stranger: tell me i have one

You: why

Stranger: because its size requires confirmation

You: that's creepy

Stranger: I DO NOT APPRECIATE SUCH INSOLENCE

You: but i'm intrigued

Stranger: YOU DO NOT PLEASE THE ANDRE

You: sorry?

Stranger: bored

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Cyber?

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: Hi sexy beast

Stranger: cyber?

You: tonight?

Stranger: now

You: can you explain what cyber is?

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Missing Elbow

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: I LOST MY ELBOW

You: hi

You: OH NO

Stranger: :|

Stranger: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP

You: call 911

Stranger: IT RAN AWAY

Stranger: AND I DNNO WHY

You: try bending your arm and see if it comes back

Stranger: NO NO

Stranger: ITS STILL NOT THERE

Stranger: IM SCARED

Stranger: HOLD ME

You: this is a problem

You: remain calm

Stranger: YES

You: do you have a towel?

Stranger: OH GEEEZ

Stranger: yes actually

Stranger: how odd

You: tie it around you're arm to stop the imaginary blood

Stranger: oh theres no blood

Stranger: THERES JUST NO ELBOW

Stranger: IM ISS MY WENIS

You: therapists also says the rapists

Stranger: whats that?

Stranger: rape?

You: RAPE?

You: NO

You: STOP

You: dont touch me there

Stranger: AHAHAHAH

Stranger: DOES NOT IT FEEL FUNNEH NICE?

You: stabbity stab stab

You: who are you dr frankenfurter?

Stranger: i dont have a penis.

You: would you like one?

You: they have surgeries

Stranger: uhm

Stranger: no

Stranger: because

Stranger: i like wearing little shorts and idk it would feel odd with something in between my legs :S

Stranger: TU ME COMPRENNES?

You: i understand

Stranger: great

Stranger: !

You: i need to go now, it was nice talking to you and good luck with your elbow

Stranger: oh thanks

Stranger: bye

Stranger: you tioo

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Wu Tang

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: hi

Stranger: wu tang forever

You have disconnected.

Truffle Shuffle Roleplay

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: hi

Stranger: hey babe

You: i am not a female and i am not a pig

You: good day sir

Stranger: im a pig!

You: SWINE FLU

Stranger: GAAAAAAH

You: so where do we go from here

Stranger: welll

You: down the well?

Stranger: we could pretend i AM a chick and cyber

You: like in the goonies

Stranger: yeah

You: do the truffle shuffle

You: DO IT!!!

Stranger: *commences to shuffle*

You: yeah thats the stuff

Stranger: mmmmm

You: well i'm satisfied

You: *gives you a sticker for best truffle shuffling

Stranger: yay

You: you are one interesting stranger

Stranger: ya

Stranger: you like it dont you

Stranger: YOU DIRTY WHORE

You: i prefer the term working girl

You: and i am very clean, i shower every night

Stranger: well, i am going to RUIN you!!!

You: wow, really?

You: i'm intrigued

Stranger: i'll shoot it in your hair

You: shoot what?

Stranger: JIZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

You: and i'l deflect it with my level five jizz shield

Stranger: not if i reveal my trap card!

You: what are you, eight?

You: nobody uses their trap cards anymore

Stranger: fuck you, im bringing it back

You: i'm intrigued

You: *throws smoke bomb and vanishes

You have disconnected.

Trolls

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: TROLLS

Stranger: oh noes!

You: behind you

You: what do you do

Stranger: I take my glass of water and fight them off

You: smart one

You: it is late for me, i must be going

You: thank you for your time

You: and I hope you enjoy yourself

Stranger: I did

Stranger: thank you

Stranger: Enjoy your sleep

You: thank you

You have disconnected.

The Game Goatse

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: hi

Stranger: grassman?

Stranger: or goatse?

You: i have a beard

Stranger: ______________________________________
_/_____\_____________\____________/____\
|_______|_____________\__________|______|
|_______`._____________|_________|_______:
.\________|____________|_________\|_______|
_\_______|_/_________/__\\\___--___\\_______:
__\______\/_____--~~__________~--__|_\_____|
___\______\_-~___________________~-_\____|
____\______\_________.----------.________\|___|
______\_____\______//_________(_(__>__\___|
_______\___.__C____)_.............._(_(____>__|__/
_______/\_|___C_____)/_The _\_(_____>__|_/
______/_/\|___C_____)_Game_|__(___>___/__\
_____|___(___C_____)\______/__//___/_/_____\
_____|____\__|_____\\_________//__(__/______|
____|_\____\____)___`----___--'______________|
____|__\______________\_______/__________/_|
____|_____________/____|_____|__\___________|
____|____________|____./______\___\__________|_
___|____________/____..|_______|___\__________|
___|___________/_____..\___/\___/_____|_________|
___|__________/________|____|_______|_________|
__|__________|_________|____|_______|_________|

Stranger: you lose

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Schrute Bucks Conversion

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: Do you know the conversion rate of Schrute bucks to Stanley nickels?

Stranger: 10 schrutes to one nickle

You: thank you

Stranger: or is it the other way around

You: i've asked 22 people before i go to you

Stranger: either one will not buy you a sheet of paper

You: what about a beet

You: or cpr dummy

Stranger: you can trade 1 beet for a ream

Stranger: but no one wants a used cpr dummy

You: even if the face is missing

Stranger: especially if the face it missing!

You: awesome

You: I'm sorry I have to go, but this was one of the best conversations of the night

You: thank you very much

Stranger: ur welcome

You have disconnected.

Rapist Swastika

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: hi stranger

Stranger: hi

You: im a 16 year old boy who are you

Stranger: i give candy to kids like you

You: yum yums

Stranger: and you will wake up with your ass red

You: can you make it purple

Stranger: sure

You: tie dye?

You: rainbow?

Stranger:
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Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Propane

Connecting to server...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: ………_„-,-~''~''':::'':::':::::''::::''~
………._,-'':::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::''-„
………..,-'::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::|
………,-'::::::::::::„:„„-~-~--'~-'~--~-~--~-
……..,'::::::::::,~'': : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : '-|
……..|::::::::,-': : : : : : : : - -~''''¯¯''-„: : : : :\
……..|::::::::|: : : : : : : : : _„„--~'''''~-„: : : : '|
……..'|:::::::,': : : : : : :_„„-: : : : : : : : ~--„_: |'
………|::::::|: : : „--~~'''~~''''''''-„…_..„~''''''''''''¯|
………|:::::,':_„„-|: : :_„---~: : :|''¯¯''''|: ~---„_: ||
……..,~-,_/'': : : |: :(_ o__): : |: : : :|:(_o__): \..|
……../,'-,: : : : : ''-,_______,-'': : : : ''-„_____|
……..\: :|: : : : : : : : : : : : : :„: : : : :-,: : : : : : : :\
………',:': : : : : : : : : : : : :,-'__: : : :_',: : : : ;: ,'
……….'-,-': : : : : :___„-: : :'': : ¯''~~'': ': : ~--|'
………….|: ,: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :: : :|
………….'|: \: : : : : : : : -,„_„„-~~--~--„_: :: |
…………..|: \: : : : : : : : : : : :-------~: : : : : |
…………..|: :''-,: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :|
…………..',: : :''-, : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :: ,'
……………| : : : : : : : : :_ : : : : : : : : : : ,-'
……………|: : : : : : : : : : '''~----------~''
…………._|: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :|
……….„-''. '-,_: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : ,'
……,-''. . . . . '''~-„_: : : : : : : : : : : : :,-'''-„
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You: im a horny teenager, hormones suck

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Kidnap Hookers

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: hi

Stranger: hey

You: i like to draw penguins

You: do you have any hobbies

Stranger: i make movies

You: i also like to kidnap hookers

You: did i say hookers

You: sorry

You: i meant cookers

You: like kitchen appliance cookers

You: you know

You: like a crock pot

You: this is awkward

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Is That Russian

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: hi

Stranger: hazal?

You: sorry

Stranger: niye be hacı be

You: is that russian

Stranger: sarışın çıtır

You: i'll take that as a no

You have disconnected.

Hello Yellow

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: hi

Stranger: hello

You: chello

Stranger: bello

You: mellow

Stranger: nellow

You: yellow

Stranger: bellow

You: fellow

Stranger: gellow

You: is that even a word

Stranger: probably not

You: get out

You have disconnected.

Hay

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hay!

You: thats what horses eat

You: its not what you use to greet

You have disconnected.

Fresh Prince of Fail

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: hi

Stranger: hi

You: i have a little story to tell if you dont mind

Stranger: ok

You: but i need you to help tell it

Stranger: what means

You: when the time comes you'll know

You: so one day i was chilling and relaxing all cool, playing b-ball outside of the school

You: there were a couple of guys that seemed to be all trouble

You: they started making rucus in my neighborhood

You: i got into a little scrap and my mother get quite the fright

You: can you tell me what she said

Stranger: i have no idea

You: really?

Stranger: ah

Stranger: fight

You have disconnected.

Fresh Prince of Bel Air

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hey

You: hi

Stranger: whats up

You: not much, just took my ap statistics exam today

You: i think i did ok but i wont find out my grade for another 2 months

You: you?

Stranger: just relaxing

Stranger: how old are you?

You: shooting some b ball outside the school?

You: 16

You: did a couple of guys who were up to no good start making trouble in your neighborhood?

Stranger: yeah

Stranger: I got in one little fight and my mom got scared

You: what did she say

Stranger: she said I had to move in with my auntie and uncle in belgrade

You: what happened next

Stranger: I got mugged

You: wow, sorry about that

You: was that while you were trying to get a taxi?

Stranger: yeah

Stranger: the licence plate said 'death'

Stranger: and there were skulls in the mirror

You: did you get money for another cab by whoring it on the streets

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Cyber Guy

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: guy lookin for another guy to cyber?

You: woah

You: no thank you

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Cookies and Traps

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: give me a cookie

You: only if you let me twirl your mustache

Stranger: ok

Stranger: come over

You: no, its a trap

Stranger: ah! how did you know

You: the cookies gave it away

Stranger: damn... people dont accept cookies from strangers anymore

You: try using something besides baked goods next time

You: maybe drugs

Stranger: hmm

Stranger: ok

Stranger: lets try again

You: ok

Stranger: give me heroin

You: only if you pay me in cash

Stranger: i am loaded

Stranger: where do we meet

You: ok, so come over and pay me

You: my place

You: right by the police precinct and chris hanson's house

You: you cant miss it

Stranger: ok

Stranger: ill be over there

You: bring a sandwich from subway

You: tuna, no cheese

Stranger: ok

You: on whole wheat

Stranger: anything else?

You: thats it

Stranger: alright

You: but now you fell for the trap

You: this isnt working very well

Stranger: crap

You: it's really late, i must be going, it was a fun conversation, good luck with your endeavors

Stranger: well

Stranger: ill hang up first!

You: good night

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Chris Hanson

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: hi

Stranger: hi

You: I'm chris hansen

You: from dateline NBC

Stranger: http://www.Marie-gets-Deflowered.com/?id=5adb263e

You: To Catch a Predator

You: you've been caught

Stranger: sure have

Stranger: well done

You: what were you planning on doing to sugartits72

Stranger: you do realise that no one has display names on this thing

Stranger: and if you were a real investigator

Stranger: you would not ask someone that

You: it's called a joke

You: way to ruin it

Stranger: you should work harder on your practical jokes

You: it's people like you who started global warming

Stranger: lmao

Stranger: cynical bastards?

Stranger: i know

Stranger: damn us

Stranger: but serious

Stranger: this link is hot

Stranger: http://www.Marie-gets-Deflowered.com/?id=5adb263e

You: can you describe it to me

Stranger: fucking hot girl

Stranger: getting deflowered

Stranger: what more do you want

You: does someone take her rose and step on it or something

Stranger: yeah thats what it means

Stranger: yr not very good at this whole joke thing are you?

You: its just very late and im getting tired

Stranger: i'll let you off

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Art

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: hi

Stranger: hey

You: I'm intrigued

You: tell me more

Stranger: what is intriguing you?

Stranger: the way i said "hey"? :)

You: yes

You: it just aroused my interest

Stranger: i thought it was pretty stylish

You: very stylish

You: it had a certain glow to it

Stranger: sometimes i go for hi, this felt like a hey time

You: a true work of art

You: it puts Da Vinci to shame

Stranger: richard da vinci?

Stranger: how do you know him?

Stranger: he's a right dickhead

You: no, no

You: Leonardo

Stranger: oh right

Stranger: not aware of him

Stranger: you go to school with him or something?

You: some say he descended from god's left testicle

You: i used to

You: back in the 15th century

You: when dinosaurs could fly

You: and there was acid in everthing

You: good night sir

Stranger: night!

You have disconnected.